[1121]

As most of you know, we at PDP (Payne, Delagrange, Paterson) Racing are a low buck operation. We are very proud of the fact that we still build things for our race cars. While most teams simply get the credit card out and buy something they need, we still try to build things. We build the easy things like bumpers and skid bars, but also the more complex and do chassis repairs, and yes, we built the motor that was in our pavement car.

It was aluminum 410 that I had the staggering amount of almost $6000 in. Before all of you laugh, thinking “what kind of motor can you build these days for $6000?” Please understand, it put out 854 HP on Bruce Hogue’s dyno. It put me in the show at the 2011 Little 500 and was a constant top 10 qualifier and finisher with the very competitive HOSS series. I was very proud of it.

But I say was, because after Jim qualified the car 9th quick at the very fast ½ mile at Illiana Speedway, we smelled a bit of antifreeze. We checked the car over for leaks and found none. The headers were dry so we decided to proceed. But early in the feature, the temperature skyrocketed and Jim pulled it in.

Upon tear down at home, I found a blown head gasket. That wasn’t so bad, but then I saw two of the pistons were cracked.

I was upset. I knew this couldn’t have been my fault! I am a Pole Sitter on Indiana Open Wheel and if there’s one thing I learned, it has to be someone else’s fault!

So I called up where I got the pistons. The names have been changed because they “claim” to be innocent.

I called “G” motors. It went like this.

Me: “Mr. G, you remember those pistons I got from you two years ago?”
Mr. G: “You mean the used pistons we gave you at no charge because they’d been sitting on the self since Moses was a pup?”
Me: “Yes, well two of them failed. I need new ones.”
Mr. G: “Well, those were custom made pistons; it will be six weeks and be about $900.”
Me: “I shouldn’t have to pay, the pistons failed. I had almost $6000 dollars in that motor and I’m a pole sitter on Indiana Open Wheel. I can’t be wrong!”
Mr. G: “Bye Tom, call me when you’re ready to order new pistons.” Click.

Well, I knew that couldn’t be right. Perhaps he didn’t understand I was a Pole Sitter on Indiana Open Wheel and that means I must be right.

I thought about it a bit and decided to call USAC. As a Pole Sitter on Indiana Open Wheel, one of the things I have learned is that it must be USAC’s fault. Doesn’t matter the situation, it must be USAC’s fault. So I called USAC. It went something like this:

Me: “Hello let me talk to whoever can buy me new pistons.”
Secretary: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t make pistons.”
Me: “I know that, but I broke two pistons and as a Pole Sitter on Indiana Open Wheel, I know this must be USAC’s fault. There was probably ethanol in my fuel or something.”
Secretary: “Are you a member sir?”
Me: “No, but I should get the same privileges as a member. You know, tow money, pit pass discount, new pistons. I’ve run two races with you in 20 years, which should be enough. “
Secretary: “I’m sorry sir; I don’t think we can help you.” Click
Me: “Did I mention that I had almost $6000 in my motor?”

Darn! I know USAC has a secret room at their headquarters that is just filled with money. Non profit, my a$$! This can’t be my fault. There must be someone to blame!

Hoosier Tire! It has to be them! The car is too glued down to the track! And I know they don’t have to make their tires that way. I’ve read on Indiana Open Wheel (where I’m a pole sitter) that there’s this mysterious tire company that can make a tire that lasts all season, can set a track record wherever we go and only costs $20 a piece. There’s no reason Hoosier can’t do this also. It must be their fault!

So I called Hoosier. It went something like this;
Me: “Can I speak to Scotty please? “
Secretary: “I’m sorry, there’s no one by that name here. “
Me: “Maybe it was Dutch?”
Secretary: “I’m sorry sir.”
Me: “Swede?”
Secretary: “Good bye sir.”

So I called Jim.

Me: “Jim, the pistons are cracked in the motor and nobody will help us. I even told them…..”
Jim: “Yeah, yeah, I know. You are a pole sitter on Indiana Open wheel and you have almost $6000 in the motor. Did you bother to check the high speed to see if it was stuck open? It may have leaned the motor and burnt the piston.”
Me: “That must be it! I’ll call the company that made the high speed. They’ll certainly buy us new pistons!”
Jim: “Why don’t we just take the motor out of the dirt car and put it in the pavement car so we can run Sandusky this weekend.
Me: “That seems like a lot of work……”

So we have taken the motor out of the dirt car and put it in the pavement car. We are going to run the Auto Value Super Sprint show at Sandusky Speedway this weekend where I will be making my Winged Pavement debut for the year. But if something happens, it won’t be my fault…..

Tom Paterson

Tom you have not lost it yet; still funny as hell my friend. Not quite sure why you smelled antifreeze, unless you were running the snowball 100 or something though.
Jeff Sweat

Tell Chad and Jim I said HELLO.

[oljonesy]

george bush's fault.

[Danny Burton]

Tom, call Bill Gardner. He will tell you whose fault it is.

[okie]

I wouldn't complain to Bill he could knock you off the pole

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[racegal]

Originally Posted by oljonesy george bush's fault.

[Bill Gardner]

Tom, you have posted 81 times on Indiana Open Wheel... Once you get to 101 you will have a rank of "Heat Race Winner".

I doubt a post ranking system on IOW will help with your pistons but if you want someone to blame... Go ahead and blame me. I will take care of your problem once I finish dealing with my own.

[snoopy]

I'd suspect sabotage. The team car was should never be trusted again! Dastardly Sam and Sneaky Roger are just not nice guys!

[Jrp4554]

You forgot to blame the promoter. They make millions each week.

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[rclaridge]

Originally Posted by Jrp4554 You forgot to blame the promoter. They make millions each week. Posted via Mobile Device

Nobody ever blames them for anything !!!!

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