Cops pulled over a car due to weaving & erratic driving, he'd been to a party but lived only a mile away. He was drunk, turned down offers of a ride so now he's pulled over. Cop asks for his license & registration, "Ok sir you need to get out of the car & walk the line for us". Just then a call came over the radio for a burglary, "Stay here we'll be right back". So he waited....... & waited, finally he got tired of waiting got in the car & drove home. When he went in the house he told his wife, "If anybody comes looking for me tell them I've been in bed w/ the flu all day". Little later comes a knock at the door, she see's the police & opens the door, "Can I help you?" - "Yes we're looking for (name) is he here?". - "why yes he's been in bed all day w/ the flu". The officer show her his drivers license & registration. "Ma'm can we look in the garage?", so she opens the garage & their sits the squad car w/ the lights on still". True story, it was told at an AA meeting by the man himself