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12/13/09, 1:49 PM   #1
OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
wbr
wbr is offline
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THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Listen up City Slickers!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny
to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
I-70 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $350,000
combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural Indiana waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.


7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are
coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat taters, gravy, beans and cornbread. You really want
sushi and caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop..

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless
of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three seasonings - salt, pepper, and
ketchup. Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call
that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and
served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. College and high school football are as important here as the
Cavs and the Knicks... and more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
spooks the fish.

17.. Colleges? We have them all. We have State Universities,
Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an
education plus a love for God and country , and they still wave at
everybody when they come home for the holidays.

18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

19. Four inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive in it
like you got some sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach
from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska. Worst case you may have to
live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snowplows will
have you out the next day.

20. By the way.... if you want to talk to God in Indiana, it's a
local call.
 
12/13/09, 1:59 PM   #2
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
Bill Gardner
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isn't it great being a redneck... life is so simple
 
1 member likes this post: Jimmydiesel
12/13/09, 3:48 PM   #3
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
P&G Photo
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Posts: 13
 

My people!
 
1 member likes this post: Jimmydiesel
12/13/09, 4:24 PM   #4
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
short track scott
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Quote:
Originally Posted by P&G Photo View Post
My people!
Am I the only one who hums a bit of "Back Home Again in Indiana" after a long trip, whether it's the month of May or not?
 
3 members like this post: Danny Burton, midgetmaniac, safetyworker
12/13/09, 4:24 PM   #5
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
Speedwrench
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Along with Sprint Car racing, just more reasons why I miss Indiana.
 
12/13/09, 4:57 PM   #6
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
racephoto1
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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And if you live near Martinsville and Mooresville, they play the Star Spangled Banner at noon on the radio.
 
1 member likes this post: jjones776
12/13/09, 8:01 PM   #7
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
illiNOISE
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 890
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wbr View Post
19. Four inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive in it like you got some sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska. Worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snowplows will have you out the next day.
As someone who has worked in the grocery business for nearly a decade, I can assure you that this phenomenon doesn't just happen in Indiana. It also happens on this side of the Wabash.
 
12/13/09, 8:13 PM   #8
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
clark9c
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 81
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by racephoto1 View Post
And if you live near Martinsville and Mooresville, they play the Star Spangled Banner at noon on the radio.
The Bullet 106.5 plays the national anthem everyday at 8am and 11:45am best station around if u ask me
 
1 member likes this post: SHORTBUS
12/13/09, 10:11 PM   #9
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
i love dirt track racing
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as long as you can go out of the state of indiana and tell all the great dirt track racing fans what we have here in indiana you would be prould to say your from indiana. they can not belive the amount of dirt tracks we have here in indiana we are trying to get all of them to go to speed week and see what racing is. we all hope all the best of holidays and can not wait till we see all of you at the race track
 
12/14/09, 1:10 PM   #10
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
Tony Barhorst
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Posts: 752
 

These are great!...My grandaddy was a dirt farmer... 30 miles from the Indiana border in Ohio...Our high school basketball team won State Championships based on the basics of Bobby Knight!

We are Hoosiers in that neck of the woods..Fort Loramie-Rossburg, Ohio area
_________________________________________________
Last edited by Tony Barhorst; 12/14/09 at 1:21 PM.
 
Reply Indiana Open Wheel > Indiana Open Wheel Forum > OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)





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