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12/13/09, 1:49 PM |
#1
OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 723 |
THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
Listen up City Slickers! 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked. 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. 4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-70 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one. 5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $350,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year. 6. So every person in rural Indiana waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 8. Yeah, we eat taters, gravy, beans and cornbread. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop.. 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. 11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey. 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three seasonings - salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! 13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. 14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 15. College and high school football are as important here as the Cavs and the Knicks... and more fun to watch. 16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish. 17.. Colleges? We have them all. We have State Universities, Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country , and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays. 18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1. 19. Four inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive in it like you got some sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska. Worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snowplows will have you out the next day. 20. By the way.... if you want to talk to God in Indiana, it's a local call. |
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12/13/09, 1:59 PM |
#2
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4,077 |
isn't it great being a redneck... life is so simple
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12/13/09, 3:48 PM |
#3
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Member
Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 13 |
My people!
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12/13/09, 4:24 PM |
#4
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 365 |
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12/13/09, 4:24 PM |
#5
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,047 |
Along with Sprint Car racing, just more reasons why I miss Indiana.
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12/13/09, 4:57 PM |
#6
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 4,253 |
And if you live near Martinsville and Mooresville, they play the Star Spangled Banner at noon on the radio.
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12/13/09, 8:01 PM |
#7
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 890 |
Quote:
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12/13/09, 8:13 PM |
#8
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 81 |
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12/13/09, 10:11 PM |
#9
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 20,387 |
as long as you can go out of the state of indiana and tell all the great dirt track racing fans what we have here in indiana you would be prould to say your from indiana. they can not belive the amount of dirt tracks we have here in indiana we are trying to get all of them to go to speed week and see what racing is. we all hope all the best of holidays and can not wait till we see all of you at the race track
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12/14/09, 1:10 PM |
#10
Re: OT: The Rules of Rural Indiana (humor)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 752 |
These are great!...My grandaddy was a dirt farmer... 30 miles from the Indiana border in Ohio...Our high school basketball team won State Championships based on the basics of Bobby Knight!
We are Hoosiers in that neck of the woods..Fort Loramie-Rossburg, Ohio area
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Last edited by Tony Barhorst; 12/14/09 at 1:21 PM. |
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