[The Old Coyote]

April 1, 2022

PRESS RELEASE

USAC Headquarters
Speedway, Indiana

The United States Auto Club today announced the formation of an entirely new and innovative Sprint Car Racing Series. The title sponsor of the series is Tesla, Inc. and the series will be known as the USAC Tesla Electric Sprint Car Series (USAC/TESCS),

Legendary traveling circus owner and promoter, Larsen E. Whipsnade, will be the Executive Vice President of the series and will be responsible for all promotion and scheduling activates.

Famed racer and crew chief, Russell Upsomegrub, will be the Director of Operations and will be responsible for all rules and racing activities.

In order to offset the silence of the Electric Sprint Car Motor and to retain the heart pounding thump, thump, thump sound of 410 engines loved by all sprint car fans, the series will utilize a new and revolutionary square tire to be produced by Hoosier Tire. In keeping with Hoosier Tire's ongoing support of the economy of the state of Indiana as well as it's sincere commitment to a clean environment, the revolutionary square tires will be made of soy beans and inflated with cow flatulence. The tires will be branded HEFFER (Hoosier Environmentally Friendly Fast Economical Racetire).

Mr. Whipsnade is currently in schedule negotiations with several tracks and promoters as well as FloRacing and other media outlets.

Mr. Upsomegrub is finalizing a rules package as well as overseeing testing of the Tesla Motor and the HEFFER tires.

Elon Musk issued the following statement:

"For years I have been a devoted fan of non-wing sprint car racing of
the type epitomized by USAC. It is for this reason, and in keeping with my commitment to the future of Electrical Vehicles as well as lining my wallet, that I have stepped forward to help take this sport and my fortune to its next level."

Further announcements will be forthcoming as the schedule and rules package as well as the testing are completed.

[kb78]

Thank you for this.

[markd]

When wings came along, it changed the name of sprint cars to non-wing sprint cars. Does this mean the name will be changed again to non-electric sprint cars?

[The Old Coyote]

In response the the looming tire shortage in both winged and non-wing sprint car racing, Hoosier Tire today announced that they were going to adapt the unique soy bean formulation of their HEFFER tire used in USAC/TESCS to a round version. The new tire will be branded HEFRAT (Hoosier Environmentally Friendly Really Awesome Tire). Due to the abundance of soy beans there will be a limitless supply of tires to all series at the affordable price of $199.99 each.

[TQ29m]

Originally Posted by The Old Coyote In response the the looming tire shortage in both winged and non-wing sprint car racing, Hoosier Tire today announced that they were going to adapt the unique soy bean formulation of their HEFFER tire used in USAC/TESCS to a round version. The new tire will be branded HEFRAT (Hoosier Environmentally Friendly Really Awesome Tire). Due to the abundance of soy beans there will be a limitless supply of tires to all series at the affordable price of $199.99 each.

Never happen, they used to use a compound that was good on wear, and hell on grip, but not much else, didn't sell like they are today, but that's another story 👍.

[The Old Coyote]

Originally Posted by TQ29m Never happen, they used to use a compound that was good on wear, and hell on grip, but not much else, didn't sell like they are today, but that's another story 👍.

It's satire!!