[darnall]

I can completely sympathize with the thoughts and feelings DavidMitchell is struggling with today... I am sure each and every one of us has seen, heard of or lived through a racing tragedy that took one of our friends family or heroes before we wanted them to leave and triggered similar doubt about this lifestyle we love...if not I wonder what fills the spot in your chest where most of us have hearts.

As a fan of the sport its easy to doubt. Fans drive the supply of races scheduled, purses paid, sponsor interest, souvenir sales, quality of facilities and countless other details.. no fans pretty much means no racing so we have to have em and the majority of us absolutely love em all...but with the utmost respect I have to tell you that at the fan level you will never understand it as we see it through our eyes and feel it in our souls.

The friends and family of a racer come next. Being surrounded by the desire and passion a racer has for the sport for any amount of time not only shows how badly we need to do it, but will often make our spouses, children, parents and friends think that no matter what the best they can ever expect is to play second fiddle to racing. None of us would ever, if given the clear cut choice, decide to choose racing over keeping a relationship with our children or wife, but our actions and focus sure make it look like we would pick racing over them any and every time. They still can't understand how we see it and feel it, but if they truly love us they can tell how consuming it is to us and would say ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT 99% of the time.

As a driver..not somebody who tries it a few times cause it looks fun.. but one of us who had our eye on strapping in since we were old enough to walk.. who grabbed every steering wheel in reach every possible chance... who will work on someones garage rotted outdated relic night and day for a month for the opportunity to take it to the track one night.. for us it's always absolutely worth any and everything it takes, every sacrifice it requires, every dollar it costs, and any hurt that comes with it.

Whether it's a driver who never heard of the most recent racing victim, somebody who knew him through his reputation, or somebody who grew up and spent their entire career going wheel to wheel with him and developed a close friendship doesn't matter... we are going to be back in a car the next night, next weekend, or next time theres a car available and a racetrack open...until one day we wake up, look around, and realize it's gone.... the desire, the drive, the need and obsession dilutes and disappears... or at a minimum falls far enough down the priority list that it isn't worth it anymore...then and only then does it become NOT WORTH IT to us, and 99% of the time it was completely internal and not swayed by a loss of life in the sport.

I am not going to speak for other drivers, but my take on the risk is this... of course I don't want to end up being killed in a racecar in the near or distant future. I don't want people to think I BET IF HE COULD HAVE CHOSEN HE WOULD HAVE WANTED TO GO THAT WAY... what a copout load of horsecrap that statement is...

First of all... it would be pretty stinkin egotistical for me to think that I had any kind of power that would allow me to outsmart my creators plan for me. When my job here is finished it's finished. My decision to stay out of the car and hide in the safety and security of my house only means that on the day my calendar ends I'm going to end up choking on a french fry or slipping in the shower, and as the lights are going out I'm going to want to kick myself for turning down the last opportunity I was offered. I have no doubt that I have the power to make decisions that affect my quality of life, my reputation, my health and mental well being, etc but no way can I extend the number of days I will get to wake up again and make those choices.

The thing that scares me the most about being killed in a racecar isn't about me, it's about racing... why would any of us ever want to be involved in a tragedy that hurt the sport we love so much in any way...

maybe some fans...especially some kids are there when it happens and it sticks with them to the point that they quit being race fans...or have issues later on due to witnessing that..

maybe the local or national media takes the story and inaccurately reports and twists the details around bad enough that it damages the reputation of my local track or series.. tracks are already struggling enough.. any added economic obstacle or bad press may be the tipping point of it opening again or becoming a strip mall..

Maybe some law firm pesters and pokes at my family long enough to convince my wife that somebody is at fault.. or convinces my son that pure negligence is what kept me from seeing him graduate college or have a child.. regardless of the judgement or settlement 5 years later any lawsuit starts hurting the sport the minute it gets filed.

As my mid 40s rapidly transitions to me being in my 50s I am loosing friends and family members more and more often every year...of all the funerals ive attended, all the crappy late night phone calls or sad early morning facebook posts... not once have I thought "Well I sure am glad he died like that instead of _____" or "It's too bad ____ didn't kill him instead"..

Being from Missouri the driver loss that still hurts the most is Jesse Hockett. I got so used to seeing him at some track almost every weekend.... used to love coming to work Monday morn and telling my dad what car Hockett drove with what series in whichever state/country that weekend and how many times he won... there has never been a more versatile guy who mashed the funbutton harder or longer than Hockett... red headed freckle face kid in his mid 20s with over 100 wins in his pocket and hundreds more to come....... lost to electrocution as he was getting ready to head to Terre Haute then swing back across the midwest into kansas to win 3 out of 5 races he ran across the memorial day holiday. Matters not if it happened in a sprintcar, on the highway, in the trailer or on the couch....he's gone and can't come back... and 7 years later I still think it sucks on a daily basis.

Is it worth it???

Yes Mr Mitchell to me it is....completely... until the day it isn't. Then I'll be finished.

Nobody can answer the question if it's worth it to you except you. If the pleasure you receive from it outweighs the pain it can cause you... or if any amount of pleasure helps you deal with the pain that is guaranteed in this life regardless of what activity or random event causes it I hope you also decide its worth it. I'd hate to think that my calendar running out made anybody question their desire to go buy a ticket or log into IOW the next week...

One more thing... you can be one of the racers I described without being a driver...

Jack Hockett hasn't raced in quite a few years... nor has Tim Clauson.. but those 2 guys, guys who have every reason to never wear a plastic pit pass bracelet again.. those guys make me feel like my passion is nothing more than a phase or a neat new pass time..like Sudoku or knitting..man those guys are racers like no other